A year ago I took this account as a repository. I put here records I had about emotions, commentaries, and interesting reads. But Weibo has opened to me the undiscovered China – folks appeal for help or make interesting argumentations in the country’s largest civic “playground”. People are truly connected online, though their opinions diverge sometimes.
In a public space like this, news becomes the topic of conversation easily. I joined the chaps to post with logics that ain’t tight and poor grammars that never got proofreading. But I took great pleasure in learning what happened in the land I was born to.
The turn was the event surrounding the ex-concession. (I thought of many other alternative denotations, all of which couldn’t differentiate the island from its neighbouring city.) I was reposting an obituary of a Chinese translator at the night of June 11, when the front page of NYT and WSJ spoke of the massive crowd. I found no trace on Weibo however. Without any mentioned on Weibo prior to the intrusion into the LegCo building, things erupted uncontrolledly in a controlled way – there is double irony here.
For those of us abroad, it is easy to designate high importance to our nationality among our multiple identities, because that’s also the top stereotypical impression. To justify we ain’t bad, or rogue, we sought to maintain the holiness of our conception about our place of origin.
That is futile. Nothing is flawless, especially when it concerns a society of 1.3 billion people. Then it may be an intuition to push the blame to inert policymakers or radicalised youngsters, but that’s like ducking into the sand when there is fire outside.
There is fire actually at home. Tensions within it have reached to a dangerous point. More and more chaps are pushed to the ends of every spectrum. When they are large enough at each end, the middle is torn.
So I am torn, between different conceptions about the world and what it meant to love a country. The hyper anxiety that volumes of information brings continues to today. But in this era, nothing is too recent.
I took a pause in the recent week, stopping posting and reposting. But I still read about what’s going on. I thought excluding myself from the distant would bring me renewed energy for the immediate. It turns out that the reverse is true. Things going on between Washington and Beijing affect my choice. So even in a rational decision-making, I need the information.
And I decided to be honest to myself. Posts are my expressions of the most genuine thoughts of mine. It comes out of “heart”, or my subconsciousness if surrealism makes sense. Would continue to post here random ideas – with the same old poor grammars without proofreading. Also, glad to meet folks in this virtual space, who illustrate to me the world’s diversity and encourage me to talk more to strangers in real life.